HAPPINESS

What makes us happy?

The other day I purchased a comfort chair for my reading corner , I was very excited and waited for the chair to be delivered .

It’s been a few days now that I have the chair , it’s good to have but the excitement of having it has now gone.

This happens every time , a packet from Amazon arrives and I am happy and excited to open it.

But within a few days the excitement is forgotten.

We do feel that when we get things we will be happy, but when we get those things there is momentary happiness and then we shift to the next thing.

We do feel if we reach somewhere we will be happy, when we are in school it is college , when it is college it is the dream job in the dream company , when we have the dream job it is the promotion.

It always seems to be the next thing or the next place that will make us happy.

It seems happiness is an outside job. Some thing has to happen, or we have to get something, then we can be happy.

But what if we don’t get that thing or what if we don’t reach where we wanted to go?

We would be unhappy?

Also with this approach to life the person who has the most would be the most happiest , is it so ? Do we see that in life.

Scratch beneath the surface those that seem to have everything may not be as happy as you think.

Social media pictures are certainly not the depiction of reality.

We put out the best pictures, and then we use filters to make our pictures look good.

We take the glamour of stars as real and we start chasing dreams to be like them , we create idols and we worship them , we become fans.

The heroes we worship are fragile because life is fragile.

Advertising lures us with things and the way it does so is by telling us , we are not ok. What we have is not enough.

We then chase excitement in things. We want to feel ok , we want to be like the stars , we want others to see us , appreciate us , maybe put us on a pedestal.

We want to be in the spotlight, or we feel so , everyone is watching us .

No one is , everyone is selfish, focused on self.

Ask those on a pedestal how afraid they are.

We feel excited chasing things. Have you experienced the excitement of getting something new ?

During the pandemic when non essentials were out of reach we did feel restless .

Yet we survived on the essentials , we found our pleasure in other things , like spending more time with family.

I have come to the realisation that we are constantly in chase , always feeling a gap.

It is almost like being on a treadmill that does not have a stop button, but also does not take us anywhere.

We keep running but we are at the same place , yet we keep running all our lives and then one day we drop dead.

Yet we keep chasing, the chase seems to be exciting, till it lasts.

Till the time we are and we are chasing there seems to be excitement, we hope this thing if we get it we will be finally happy.

We get it , we get there , there is momentary happiness then again the gap then again the chase.

Happiness I have come to realise is not out there, somewhere in the future.

It has got nothing to do with the outside.

Happiness is an inside job and it is certainly not in the destination.

It is not the destination, but the journey that matter.

It is not the things we own , but the moments we live that matter.

It is not what we get but what we give in the world that matters .

It is not what the world thinks but what we feel that matters .

Happiness I have noticed when I have gratitude for what I have.

When I drop the chase I start living. When I don’t seek spotlight I am most alive as me.

There is no happiness out there it is just there where we are.

THERE IS UNCERTAINTY

What happens outside of us we have no control over that , life changes in a moment just like that.

There was no warning, it had never happened, the world shut down , everything stopped.

A sudden death in the family , major illness , financial loss , job loss , anything can happen any moment.

We seek our lives to be comfortable, pain free , certain and in control.

But life is not in our control, outside circumstances are not in our control.

Resistance to what is does not help . What is has already occurred, now fight as much , cry as much , resist as much the situation has already occurred.

There is no choice to change what is happening outside. None.

There is choice to change what is happening inside , that is the only choice we have.

Life has dealt a difficult card , there is turbulence within , you cannot run away.

Can you find meaning in your pain , it has showed up in your life for a reason.

Can you convert your pain into a purpose ? Can you learn from it .

The scientist did what was never done before in one year we have a vaccine to fight the pandemic.

The world has a deeper opportunity to course correct on the damage we have cause our planet and the balance of life on our world.

Individuals have an opportunity to learn from what happened and pick up the lessons that will make them stronger to face challenges in the future.

Businesses have a lesson to rethink purpose and the way of life and work.

Everything happens for a reason are you ready to learn ?

THINGS THAT NO LONGER IMPRESS ME

  1. Name brand of clothing

As long as it is comfortable and fits well I don’t care.

  1. The price of the car

My current car the Honda City is over eight years old and it serves me well , does the work of transportation when I need.

  1. Square footage of home

A smaller home is easier to maintain, I am not impressed with bigger homes.

Our current home that is around 1000 sq ft with a space for my WFH that is sufficient.

  1. Amount of money in the bank account

Nothing wrong with money , it is exchange for Value you bring to the world, it lets you live life on your own terms .

But beyond a point it only matters if you can help others or what good you can do in the community with what you earn.

The lockdowns have demonstrated how little we need to live.

  1. Gadgets we use

I do buy gadgets but as long as they serve my work beyond that I am not interested In buying the latest shiny object that is out there.

  1. Social media likes

People put out pictures of their vacations or food they eat , tell their best stories.

But I know they are only part of the story not the whole story.

I was not always like this , I have changed over time .

I understood that what truly matters is health , family , friends and freedom.

We deeply yearn for ‘Freedom’ to live life on our own terms but we start imitating the culture.

It is not a restricted lifestyle rather it is focusing on what truly matters in life.

I am sure the pandemic has been a wake up call for us to reflect on what is truly important.

Do you agree ?

P.S- ( Need to yet work on the nutrition bit )

WE LIVE A STORY

We are here for a finite time and one day nothing will matter.

Dreams and worries will be buried , turned to ashes when it all ends.

Just in a moment everything will be over.

Finally it all ends , one day sometime in the future even our planet will vanish into a void.

How can we make sense of anything.

What is the point of it all , all our struggles are meaningless.

We add meaning to this seemingly meaningless existence with our Stories.

We seek to be immortal with our Stories as we fear vanishing into a void.

Religion is a Story that gives meaning to our lives .

Country is a collective Story of the tribe.

We are willing to die for our Stories and we are even ready to kill.

We create villains, the others , fight , create divisions with our Stories.

We live and die for our Stories.

All creation happens with a Story.

We create the Story of life after death as not existing does not make sense.

Leaving a legacy is a Story of our desire to be immortal.

We stretch beyond our physical limitations all because of Stories we tell.

In our Stories we have our heroes and villains .

We admire heroes and despise the villains.

We try to be like our heroes as we admire their stories.

We learn to hate our villains.

We try enrol others into our Stories.

Then there are those who we call our leaders who tell us a Story we all buy into.

We hear their Stories, get inspired and become a part of their tribe.

We are not ok is a Story told by advertising.

We need to get somewhere from here is a Story.

From here to there is a Story.

Success is a Story so is failure.

Self identity is a Story.

Yet finally it all ends and nothing matters .

Life is just a grand Story.

We are the Stories we tell .

If this is so why not tell a Story that inspires.

We have the choice , only humans have this choice to choose their Story.

Why not have fun while the Story lasts.

Why not live a Story that makes waking up every morning exiting.

Why live a Story of fear , survival, limitation.

Why not live a Story of gratitude and love.

Remember finally it is all meaningless .

In a moment it all will just vanish.

Till then let us have hell of a ride and live this life Story fully.

Sanjay Mudnaney

#passionproject

HOW I GOT OVER MY FEARS

I had the fear of flying, the fear would begin when I boarded a flight and if there was turbulence I would be in an internal mess .

I have seen panic attacks after I saw a close relative pass away suddenly with a massive heart attack. After the incident, I would land up in ERs at night with breathlessness , I was told that I am experiencing a panic attack . Nothing helped , no advice helped .

Today I love to fly places, turbulence is ok (unless it’s real bad ( : ) . I can walk into a cemetery , talk about death and be ok , panic just vanished never to come back.

How did this change occur?

1. Face the fear : I was running away , I wanted to run away . One day , I stopped, looked at fear in the eyes . Felt the fear in my body . I did not run . I got on the other side of fear and it vanished.

2. What is the worst that can happen ? I asked this question and the answer was “I will die”. And then it struck me “I am going to die anyway one day , everyone is going to die one day , why die NOW ! I will die when I have to , let me live NOW!”

3. In this moment : Being here now , dropping the future helped . I have learnt that in this moment, this moment as I write these words , there is no problem. When I get away from this moment, in the past or the future, stories begin .

4. Accept this deeply : In this moment, now there is no problem and “this moment is inevitable” , it has already occurred. No choice , can’t do a thing . Accept deeply without resistance.

5 . This too shall pass : I am not God , I am not perfect, I do get shaken up by events in life , I do falter , but I get up , I know “This too shall pass” , it does . One day we all will be dead and gone , my parents who are no more would have lived through so many fears , what is the significance now , nothing , it’s all dust .

When you deeply understand this that we are here momentarily on a journey as visitors on this planet , you will understand that this too shall eventually pass , everything will . Yet while on the journey, let us make the best of our time to live , love and leave a legacy behind.

Sanjay Mudnaney

#passionproject

I LOST A CLIENT AND THIS IS WHAT I LEARNT

Recently one of my clients backed off just when I thought things were looking up , social media presence was up , engagement was high and now it looked the sales funnel would kick in as we identified the niche and the product offering.

And yet the client backed off , why ? “Don’t have the funds and sales have not yet happened so I am unsure of the future.”

I was disappointed, things were just falling into place and looking up . It had just been three months since we began working on the account and we had even compromised on our fees .

So what did I learn ?

1. WHO : This is the most important question, clearly decide who is your client for the product or service you wish to offer .

In this case even before I took on the client I knew that the budgets were tight and social media needs time to build presence , but I had made the mistake of taking on the business.

Looking back I would rather focus on clients who were in it for the long haul rather than let’s see what happens.

2. EXPECTATIONS : It’s important to set clear expectations . Building a brand on social media is a long term game and if the client was not ready to play for the long run , I could just have avoided taking on the client .

This is also fair for the client as they are clear of what to expect . Being optimist is good but it needs to match reality.

3. LET GO : You could make a mistake in the client you picked up but as soon as you realise that something is not clicking take a quick decision and let go . It saves time and effort for everyone .

Let go of clients ;

1. Who don’t see value and are not willing to pay for the value you add . Better focus on those that see value .

2. Who do not commit to what it takes to succeed . If you are not well and you refuse to take the pill the doctor advised, you cannot blame the doctor. Either convince the client on importance of following the plan and if they yet refuse , just get out.

It is important to FOCUS you have limited time and resources . You cannot be everything to everyone.

I feel It’s a good learning to “LET GO OF BUSINESS/ CLIENTS THAT THAT ARE NOT COMMITTED TO CREATE MUTUAL VALUE.”

#Passionproject

Sanjay Mudnaney

WHAT STOPS FROM DOING WHAT WE LOVE

The fear of unknown is real . Look at the graves , you find worlds greatest treasures buried , dreams that were not lived due to fear .

Look at a child , you find no fear , dancing, jumping , shouting, all the stuff that kids do and are not ok for us to do as adults .

Who made these rules ? The NO has killed many more dreams than anything else in our world. The “No you cannot do this” , “No you cannot have that” , “No you are not good enough .”

And this is filled with , “you Must do this”, “You must stand first” , “You must win”, “You need to have a big house and a bigger car” . Then there is comparison, “look at your friend , he has topped the class and you ?”

Then we have idols , those that we see up there , in every magazine we see their pictures, they have made it , you see their lifestyle and wish you could be like them.

We pick up a job , get into a loan for that dream house , the car . Now we are trapped , bills need to be paid . The dream has been forgotten for more important things need to be done like , living life , climbing the ladder , paying the bills , getting famous .

Now the fear is real , we cannot do what we love because we need to keep up , follow the dream of the crowd . So we never ever break free because now SURVIVING is important.

Finally you find most of the beautiful dreams buried under the graveyard.

I believe no one must die with their song in their heart. We have but one life , we must Live it .

Love what you do till you find what you love to do. But for that don’t get trapped in the dream of the crowd and drop the fear . You have nothing to lose .

#passionproject

Sanjay Mudnaney

WHAT WILL THEY SAY

How many dreams have died because of this one sentence “what will they say”. The fear grips from taking that step into the unknown.

We always look for validation, first from parents then from teachers , school mates goes on to bosses.

When we truly look at life we will be shocked that we don’t live OUR lives but we live the EXPECTATIONS of others.

Who defined success as a big bank balance ? a big car , a big home ? Who even put into our head the concept “make a difference” .

All the baggage we carry is heavy, very heavy . And why can we not just be who we are dropping all the baggage of being like what we are expected to be ?

You put out your art into the world, because that is who you are . Some like , some don’t and that is ok , they are just not your audience.

Chase your dreams not the expectations and validation of anyone. Be yourself. It’s that simple .

#passionproject

Sanjay Mudnaney

WHAT IF THIS WAS MY LAST DAY

A strange question to ask in a business blog , but stay on it is relevant.

It is a known fact that we have limited time on planet earth and also it is known that no one knows when the final moment would come.

It will definitely come we know that we are all mortal so what would we do if it were the final day of our life ?

Would we obsessed over our bank balance , or the accumulations or the designation or what people will think of us ?

Or would we rather be ready to die peacefully knowing we have lived our life to the fullest, with no regrets , loved to the fullest , touched lives , given the best we can , lived our calling ?

So what if this as you read is the last day of your life ? and it may as well be. Do you have any regrets ? Is there some song you wanted to sing that you postponed ? Did you love enough ? Did you spend time with those you lived ? Do you make a difference in our world?

Don’t live for survival , you will die anyway!

Don’t die with any regrets of incomplete dreams . Sing your song before it is too late to sing . Don’t die with your song in your heart !

Don’t die with your song in your heart

Sanjay Mudnaney

#passionproject

LIFE IN THE SLOW LANE

All that we learn is to move fast, time is money we are told . And so we get on a treadmill of life . A treadmill that has no stop button.

So we keep running, faster , with the crowd . The treadmill goes nowhere but we feel we are getting some place because it is always in motion.

We look at the fast runners on treadmills, we admire them , we want to be like them , we create idols .

What is this run for ? Fame ? Money ? Desires ? Milestones seems to be reached but the treadmill never stops . School , college, careers … it goes on . We hope one day , one day we will live , till then we live on weekends.

We look at the destination, all the while running. Yet there is none , it never comes , till we drop dead . It is then that the treadmill stops.

What is the need to get on the treadmill, look around , there is life in the slow lane . Press the pause button and we need to reflect what we are chasing .

But when we get into the slow lane we miss the thrill of running on a treadmill that goes nowhere. Slow lane does not seem exciting, we keep looking at others , the Gurus, the idols all telling us to run .

They show off their big homes , the fast cars , the planes .. you are made to feel life is not ok if you don’t join them in the race to nowhere.

Yet when you slow down you meet life , and you see it is not about the destination but life is about the journey.

Did you live ? Did you love ? when you live your gift and spread it out of love , not out of pressure of some imaginary targets .

I got off the treadmill, I live life in the slow lane now , I cycle , I write , I sing , I meditate , I also run passion projects , what I call #blessedwork . And I also do nothing , just reflect , read a book , have a cup of coffee ..

Each day is a great day , slow down , breathe , do what you love , don’t compare , don’t judge , spread love . It’s as simple as that , hit the pause button now ! before it is too late .

Sanjay Mudnaney

#passionproject